• Summary:

I’m not sure how we forget that we are just as important as everyone else in our lives who we are so good at serving. Most of the people who vie for our attention can be very good at asking for what they want. If you have children, for example, they won’t let you forget that they expect to eat five times a day. Similarly, the community organization in which you help out in your “free time” is never shy about reminding you that there are many critical needs. Unfortunately, there generally won’t be anyone speaking up on our behalf if we aren’t tuned in to our own internal voice reminding us that we have needs too.

Almost everyone I work with suffers from this problem to some degree.

Do you regularly do things for yourself that nourish you physically, mentally and spiritually? Are you clear on what those things are? Have you ever found yourself digging into a bag of potato chips late in the afternoon and realizing you don’t even want them, but you’re just feeling out of sorts and needy for something you can’t quite identify? Perhaps you’re tired and you would really like a nap. Maybe you’ve been too busy to hydrate yourself and you haven’t had a glass of water all day. Or, you would really love to get outside and go for a walk with a good friend with whom you could have a great conversation and some laughs. By the time we overindulge in the potato chips, we may be missing all of these things, and our nurturing deficit has probably built up over time.

This is how it often works for those individuals who set out to become healthier and find themselves sabotaging their own efforts over and over again. Many people believe that if they can just find the perfect “program” or read the right book, they will finally experience success. When we ultimately go off the plan we are disappointed and left feeling that nothing will ever work for us. The truth is that getting healthy is about much more than someone telling us how to eat and exercise. Being healthy is about committing to making the little choices every day in all areas of our lives that serve us well in all areas of our life. So you eat too many of the potato chips, but then you stop to think about it and realize you need, and deserve, something much better than that.

As taking time for ourselves is something that does not come easily to most people, it can be very helpful to create your own nurturing list. Include all the things that make you feel happy, energized, and nourished at a soul level. Definitely consider the things you used to do when you were younger and perhaps less overwhelmed with responsibilities. The list will be different for everyone but may include writing in a journal, getting a massage, lighting a candle or burning incense, meditating or praying, listening to beautiful music (and that could mean anything from Beethoven to the Black Eyed Peas depending on your taste), going to a movie, or calling your best friend. Some of my most favorite things include writing outdoors in a beautiful setting, spending time browsing through a book store, deep breathing exercises to increase my intake of oxygen and help keep me calm, and physical activities including yoga, hiking, and biking. You’ll be amazed at how much difference it makes in your ability to choose the right food when your meals aren’t being used as a substitute for other kinds of nurturing.

Once you have your nurturing list in place, you need to refer to it regularly. When you’re reviewing your weekly schedule or making up a to-do list, include some self-care and joy-producing activities in your plan. It’s never time wasted. You and everyone who counts on you will benefit from your efforts to take really good care of yourself.